It would make ME spend more. Just sayin’.

The calendar tells us that it is not yet December and therefore logically not yet time for the enjoyment of the Christmas themed music.  Retailers, however…apparently immune to convention and  the chronological compendium of tradition…routinely eschew this forbearance in favor of an early and excessive plunge right into Holiday Muzak Hell.  The soul-less bastards.

So, if I MUST be subjected to seasonal music while I peruse price tags and attempt to remain upright in the face of wave upon wave of sticker shock, I submit to you and the evil retailers of the world the following suggestion:

Every once in a while, do me a favor.  Bypass the traditional Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby, skip past the Kenny G instrumentals and for sweet cheeses, no more Mannheim Steamroller!  Nope – throw in some of my favorites.  I swear to you on a sugarplum that if I EVER heard some of the following songs whilst shopping, I would instantly DOUBLE the amount I’d planned to spend in the establishment that had the cojones to play them.  FACT.

Just sayin’…;)

Tom Waits: Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis

John Prine: Christmas in Prison


Robert Earl Keen – Merry Christmas from the Family


Sufjan Stevens – Did I Make You Cry on Christmas Day? (Well, You Deserved it!)

The Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl – Fairytale of New York

What Holiday songs would YOU love to hear while you’re out and about? Share!

9 Responses to It would make ME spend more. Just sayin’.
  1. Ri
    November 28, 2010 | 9:36 am

    I should also mention the Neko Case cover of “Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis” is awesome, too. But, being the purist that I am, I’ll generally opt for the Waits. ;)
    Ri´s last [type] ..Thanks- Mr Joshua!

  2. Melisa
    November 28, 2010 | 9:57 am

    Love these suggestions!

    Personally, well, you don’t want to know what I think of most holiday music and how early it is played.

    But I can guarantee you that one song that would do it for me is the version of Jingle Bells sung by the barking dogs.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKkY9HMunxA
    Melisa´s last [type] ..Ten Paces

  3. Tiffani
    November 28, 2010 | 11:40 am

    Back Door Santa would tickle my fancy. Especially as performed by Jon Bon Jovi. And Clarence Carter has a nice version, too.

  4. tawnya
    November 28, 2010 | 2:55 pm

    This is our favorite Christmas set: http://www.amazon.com/Excelsis-Boxset-Various-Artists/dp/B000075D92/ref=sr_1_1?s=music&ie=UTF8&qid=1290974060&sr=1-1

    Nothing like a little industrial / emo Christmas…
    tawnya´s last [type] ..Today

  5. Kim @ Not Your Typical Southern Belle
    November 29, 2010 | 10:50 am

    Tom Waits AND Robert Earl Keen = WIN WIN WIN!

    I proudly work for a retailer that does not pipe ANY muzak over the speakers….regardless of holiday :)

  6. oh_pook
    December 3, 2010 | 9:55 am

    I work at a grocery market and we play a bunch of really crappy music… the coolest song on there is David Bowie/Bing Crosby Little Drummer Boy…

    …being a market… I’d be thrilled if they through on The Waitresses Christmas Wrapping haha

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