The calendar tells us that it is not yet December and therefore logically not yet time for the enjoyment of the Christmas themed music. Retailers, however…apparently immune to convention and the chronological compendium of tradition…routinely eschew this forbearance in favor of an early and excessive plunge right into Holiday Muzak Hell. The soul-less bastards.
So, if I MUST be subjected to seasonal music while I peruse price tags and attempt to remain upright in the face of wave upon wave of sticker shock, I submit to you and the evil retailers of the world the following suggestion:
Every once in a while, do me a favor. Bypass the traditional Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby, skip past the Kenny G instrumentals and for sweet cheeses, no more Mannheim Steamroller! Nope – throw in some of my favorites. I swear to you on a sugarplum that if I EVER heard some of the following songs whilst shopping, I would instantly DOUBLE the amount I’d planned to spend in the establishment that had the cojones to play them. FACT.
Tom Waits: Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis
John Prine: Christmas in Prison
Robert Earl Keen – Merry Christmas from the Family
Sufjan Stevens – Did I Make You Cry on Christmas Day? (Well, You Deserved it!)
The Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl – Fairytale of New York
What Holiday songs would YOU love to hear while you’re out and about? Share!