(…with all apologies to the late Mr. Cobain for the shameless lyric ripoff in the title. But, seriously – when one thinks of their own failures, foibles and fumbles with the intention of actually TALKING about them, one arrives at a state of discouraged detachment that can best be described as “Nirvanesque”.)
Okay, so now that I have your attention, let’s talk about my going AWOL around here, shall we?
Yup, this was my baby. I was the “fearless leader” who kicked this blog into gear. Worked with a designer made of awesome for over a year to get the custom design and multi-author functionality just right. I had more new music tips from PR folks than I knew what to do with over at Music Savvy Mom, and decided that they needed to be shared…with friends who loved music as much as I do, who were excellent writers and whose diverse musical tastes would ensure that all genres would be heard.
In theory, it was great – we’d all still attend to our own blogs, but would pop over here for fun. We’d grab a new track and info sheet from a running list I kept, take a listen, throw up a review and connect with our own inner Lester Bangs for a moment. We’d exercise our chops as erstwhile rock journalists, then go back to our respective Mom Blogger personas. Yes, in theory…it was great.
But unfortunately, theory doesn’t always translate well into reality.
Was it the fault of these ladies that this little experiment has hit a lull , reached an impasse, slammed into a brick wall involuntarily gone on almost permanent hiatus? Nope. Not one little bit. Totally on me, that. I went from hyped up micromanaging (which, frankly, was driving ME nuts – can’t imagine how they stood me) to absolute hands off with no warning whatsoever.
Seriously. Nada. Crickets, in fact. Frankly, I’m surprised most of them even talk to me anymore. (At least one doesn’t, in fact. But, not because of this…I’m a bitch on many levels. )
Now, I didn’t abandon The Music Mamas on purpose. Actually, I have abandoned blogging altogether as of late – on all of my sites. If you want the absolute truth without the gory details, I found myself increasingly more disillusioned with the whole “system” – at least parts of it that I was seeing. After two years of intentionally NOT monetizing any of my blogs, and just observing and researching the best way to go about it…I’ve become jaded and burned out before allowing myself to make a penny.
World’s Greatest Business Woman, I am not.
So, back to the subject at hand: this site. This entire concept, in fact – which is also the bedrock that Music Savvy Mom is built on – that of the lack of synergy between Moms and Music.
I still believe very strongly in that. I’ve come to see, though, that it’s not just Moms who need it.
I’ve also realized that the need doesn’t have to be met only by new music, nor just in a review capacity. Sometimes it’s just good to talk about it – old music, new music – whatever. And that can only be genuine with no pressure or feeling of responsibility – real or imagined.
I’ve realized that you cannot schedule nor edit a writer’s passion. That includes me. When you suck the fun out of fun, it becomes too much like work. And, nobody likes work, especially work for which they’re not being paid.
So, why am I telling you all this? Because I want to apologize. First, to the Mamas who agreed to jump on this thing with me. I’ve been a pain in the ass and let you down. I’m sorry. Next, to you readers. We got you all psyched for this, and so many of you supported us and still do…and I failed you. I’m sorry. To the PR folks – well, to just a few of the PR folks, actually – the ones who have been wonderful and who have treated us with respect and generosity of time and music. I’ve flaked on you. I’m sorry And lastly, to the artists. In trying to harness passion and spontaneity, I’ve squashed potentially wonderful articles about the music you’re making that could have been shared. I’m sorry.
What to do now? Well, I don’t know. So I’m putting it out for any who are still interested to discuss with me, here. (That’s right – no personal emails went out. Just laying it out here.) Do we keep the idea alive? If any of The Mamas still listed on the sidebar want to start again – with a new and improved atmosphere of “write whatever the hell you want, whatever makes you happy”, then hell yeah – go for it! Do any of you readers want to kick in an article or two? Let me know! Send them in! Do we want to start a forum or message board where we all just yap about music? I’m game. I’d even be good with inviting some PR folks and artists to post there directly – in designated areas – to still advance that bridge between music and fan in a more intimate way.
Or, y’know…we could just scrap it. But I can’t just continue to let it stagnate, while a few brave souls come in once in a while to try to resuscitate it singlehandedly. (I’m sorry for that, too. )
Bottom line is this. I’ve shed my inner control freak. I no longer care about becoming a “successful” or popular blogger – Mom or otherwise. But, I miss writing about music in a genuine way. I need some help finding a way to do that. I need to know if this is something worth doing, worth saving.
Writers, readers, other music folk…help me? Please?