The “Not If You Paid Me” List

As you saw the other day, us Music Mamas have been grousing about “Crimes Against Music” lately – all in good fun, of course. Which made me think of an old post I did on Greeblemonkey that was just right to resurface now. It’s a tale from when I was visiting my friend Aimee (yes, spelled the same as me) in Chicago way back in 2007. A sad, sad tale, my friends.


The “Not if You Paid Me” List
When I was at Joe and Aimee of the Cool Name’s house last weekend, we started talking about concerts. Apparently Aimee can count the number of shows she has seen on one hand. (Sad, sad girl). And as she listed them off, I felt myself throw-up a little bit. I had been thinking about a post for a while, talking about bands I would never see in concert. Bands I hate so much that even if you paid me, I wouldn’t go see them. (Because let’s face it, I would go see almost anyone for free).

THREE of the five bands that she had seen, were on my “Not If You Paid Me List.” Guess which ones?

• Kid Rock
• Snoop Dog
• Jimmy Buffett
• Grateful Dead (if they were alive)
• Neil Young

Yes, poor little Aimee, who has only seen 5 shows ever, has been subjected to Kid Rock, the Grateful Dead and Jimmy Buffett in her lifetime. No wonder she has only seen 5.

She was quick to assure me that Kid Rock was for free. Well, I hope so!

Apparently, Joe had an in somewhere, so they even went back stage and were able to meet THE MAN. And the MIDGET! (He was still alive then). And, good news people! They are just as big assholes as you would imagine. Calling girls “bitches” and “ho’s” is not an ACT! Whew! I am so relieved!

Apparently Joe said something really rude to the Midget and pissed him off, too. I was so proud.

AND! It gets better! When I told this story to our best friend Jeff the other night, his eyes got big and round and filled with humor as he started telling me about how our friends Auggie and Renee saw Kid Rock only two weeks ago (what, is it like a DISEASE???) and they, too, somehow made it backstage. And that some roadie shoved a pizza in Renee’s hand because “the guys like food with their girls.”

Now that’s class.

So. Kid Rock remains at the very top of the “Not If You Paid Me List.”


This is gonna be fun!

9 Responses to The “Not If You Paid Me” List
  1. Mari
    September 22, 2010 | 8:51 am

    LOL too funny. I like some of the music by the artists you’ve listed but wouldn’t see any of those 5 either.
    Mari´s last [type] ..No words

  2. Kim @ Not Your Typical Southern Belle
    September 22, 2010 | 9:19 am

    LOL, Kid Rock a disease!

    Ke$ha (and it hurt me to type the name that way) is at the top of my “not if you paid me” list. I don’t think my eardrums would ever recover! Beneath her could be just about ANY over-hyped band or artist from any part of the music realm.

    Although I do like some popular acts, I have zero desire to be around packs of rabid fangirls and boys.
    Kim @ Not Your Typical Southern Belle´s last [type] ..V-Dub Reflections 1 – Wordless Wednesday 34

  3. oh_pook
    September 22, 2010 | 10:48 am

    Oh How i Love Music!!

    Neat how people like what they like…

    I fully agree with your first 3, Aimee

    but your last 2 are two of my faves that I’ve paid to see a whole bunch of times (I’m a little afraid to do the math to see how much I’ve actually spent on the Grateful Dead)

    Couldn’t pay me to go to Justin Beiber or Black Eyed Peas or Garth Brooks off the top of my head…

  4. Aimee Greeblemonkey
    September 22, 2010 | 11:09 am

    oh_pook – I know my list is oddly varied.

    I do have an “honorary mention” that could probably replace Neil Young in a pinch: TOBY KEITH.
    Aimee Greeblemonkey´s last [type] ..Going Back For Another Round

  5. christina
    September 22, 2010 | 11:21 am

    Sadly, I fall in the category of Aimee of The Cool Name…..I can probably count the number of shows I’ve seen on one hand. But I”m hoping to learn something from all of you here!!

  6. Aimee e
    September 22, 2010 | 11:57 am

    So I am not a big concert person. Shoot me. I would much rather spend the money on a trendy restaurant and good wine. I went to kid Rock just to see backstage at house of blues. Jimmy buffet was because my high school boyfriend dragged me. Grateful dead was in a skybox. Duh.
    I did see Dave Matthews last weekend in a skybox. Is that better?

  7. Ri
    September 23, 2010 | 11:10 pm

    Ummmm, lesse – Agreed on your first two…and probably number three. (Except for maybe the possibility of free shrimp and rum.) But, ABSOLUTELY not if you paid me:
    Kanye West
    50 Cent
    J Lo
    Celine Dion
    Any country act involving tight jeans and a ginormous cowboy hat.
    Anything that has ever been described with the word “electronica”.
    …man, this list is gonna be long. I should go get some coffee and come back to it…
    Ri´s last [type] ..I really AM in a good mood- I swear…

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